Back in the Water Again, Do Bee Do, Do Bee Do

I just got back from a couple of days in Ipperwash Beach with my good friends Leah and Amy.

http://www.lambtonshores.ca/living/communitylife/rec_beachesandmarinas.htm

Best of all I got into the lake and my toe was fine and despite a pretty wicked sunburn – even with a beach umbrella, a floppy hat, cover up and a waterproof SPF 15 sunscreen – I had a fabulous time in the water and on the beach with my lovely hostesses.

Normally I am not a beach person, the sand gets in all sorts of strange places, and I feel rather conspicuous out amongst the “pretty people”, but Ipperwash Beach was full of lovely people of all shapes, ages and sizes.  I was really glad to see this as I’m pro-health and pro-activity at any size and everyone was out enjoying the sunshine and wading in Lake Huron.  My only regret was having to leave after just one night . . .perhaps if I’m really good Amy and Leah will invite me again.

– the Goddess

Going Vegan?

A friend called me this week and told me that his weight was up and that he had purchased a book called Eat to Live, by Joel Fuhrman with a forward by Dr.Oz.  He told me that he’d been reading the book and thought of me and thought that it would be good for me and that he was going to try it too.

So, I bought the book.  I’m only 25 pages in, but I have to admit it’s interesting.  Essentially you eat all the fruits and veggies you can stuff in, but for the first 6 weeks there are no oils, no animal products, no dairy and some other stuff I can’t remember.

The purpose of this blog, lest you think I have forgotten, is not to jump from one fad diet to the next. In the last two weeks I’ve had discussions about Atkins, raw food, the Paleo diet, and a few of the large scale “commercial” diet programs which tend to hire celebrities as spokespeople and while all have their merits and people do lose weigh, most are simply too difficult to stick with in the long run, or too difficult on one’s system, or simply do not produce the desired results.  This program, which granted, could also be a load of hype, since I’m starting to wonder if Dr. Oz is really all that selective with his endorsements, seems like it could be doable.  From what I’ve read so far, it promises no measuring, and addresses issues like food allergies and heart health which are areas of great interest to me. It also promises significant weight loss in a short period of time which to be honest makes me skeptical, but eating fruits and veggies and beans and legumes and cutting out dairy is something I’ve been thinking about to help with some of the um “digestive issues” I’ve been experiencing.

Since I am an incrementalist and it’s summer which means picnics and barbecues and more socializing in general and since I have a fridge full of items which are not permitted, I’ve decided to phase in this eating style over the next couple of weeks and then start with the 6 week program in mid-August.  I’m also concerned that switching overnight to a completely vegan diet, which is essentially what this is, will be a shock to my system, which could prove uncomfortable, so I think it’s better to start adding more and more veggies to my meals and then making the switch.  This may not be the best way to go about this, but  I’m frugal and don’t feel like tossing out or giving away the contents of my freezer and I like my animal products so perhaps weaning off them gradually will make the overall transition a little easier.

Once the first 6 weeks are over it appears that one adds in small portions of meat and other restricted items in limited quantities, but I will worry about that when I get there.

I shan’t bother you with constant updates or tell you about every ounce I may lose, but I will let you know how it’s going from time to time.  I can also give you a sense of my current starting point.  Due to my foot injury I have been out of the pool since June 17th, 2012 and I feel like garbage.  I am stiff and sore and not sleeping as well or as long as I should because I’m not getting to the pool for workouts, but also I’m struggling to keep my weight in check and I’m feeling more and more like a garden slug each day.  I put on a shoe for a few hours for the first time yesterday and my wound started to open and bleed a bit, despite the band aid and sock between it and my shoe.  As a result, I did not get back to the Y this morning as I had hoped. I’m hoping that some changes to my diet will help me feel a bit better in general and even help me lose a few pounds which would help with my current back issues.  And yes let’s not be silly, I would like to weigh a lot less than I do right now, so if this program is manageable and helps me accomplish that goal, well that would be nice too.

– the Goddess

 

“Sexercise”

A woman who was “awarded” the title “World’s Fattest Woman”  has lost weight by having lots and lots of sex.

http://www.newstrackindia.com/newsdetails/2012/07/12/309–Sexathons-helped-world-s-heaviest-woman-lose-weight.html

I’m not sure this requires comment. . .

I’ve known people who give their weight in stone, but when I looked for a definition it seemed to vary – anywhere between 8 pounds to about 14 kilograms, though if memory serves I think most people equate it to be about 14 pounds.

This woman weighed in at approximately 50 stone or 700 pounds and if my calculations are correct when she was 714 pounds she won the world’s fattest woman title.  I was sure people were bigger than that, but I suspect, sadly, that they don’t live for long when carrying that much weight, or perhaps they were men.

Anyway, what I was really thinking about when I read this article was how does one let themselves get to the point that they can no longer toilet themselves or move around in their own beds.  I am a big girl and I admit that it sneaks up on us and one day we realize we are grossly overweight and we kind of knew it, but we sort of didn’t see it happen.  I can also admit that I am not as mobile as I once was given that my weight causes me back pain and sore feet, but I still get up and go to work each day and I get myself from point A to point B and I am clean and I can go potty all by myself.  I’m not attacking this woman in anyway, but I am deeply concerned, not only because I imagine depression or similar mental illness must play a role in her allowing herself to become bed bound, but for the people around her.  It is possible that she is manipulative, either by design or out of necessity, and that that is how she continues to eat enough calories each day to maintain and potentially increase her weight but regardless of her behaviour someone in her life, someone who has taken the task of “looking after her”, is enabling her by bringing her vast quantities of food or calorie rich food.

I watched a program once about a morbidly obese man who was once a paramedic, but was now bedridden due to his weight.  Impressively or perhaps not, he was set up so that he could cook from his bed and his wife and family bought his groceries.  Eventually his health deteriorated to the point that he was hospitalized and had to be taken out of his house with special equipment.  Once in hospital he complained and carried on and attempted to manipulate others to bring him the kinds of food he wanted including snack cakes and junk food.  Sadly he died due to his excessive weight and the associated health problems.

I maintain that my weight is my business and that if I want a cookie it is no one’s business but my own, but I think if I was in a situation like this I would hope that those around me would love me enough to make the tough choices and tell me that if I want the cookie I better be able to get myself to the store to buy it, through the checkout to pay for it and back home to eat it.

– the Goddess

Stand Up!

So researchers are saying that sitting more than three hours a day will reduce life expectancy by two years.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303343404577516853567934264.html

I am stumped as to how I can increase my activity levels and change my lifestyle to sit a maximum of three hours per day.

There are twenty four hours in a day, 3 permitted for sitting, 8 for sleeping, which leaves 13 hours of “not sitting”.  I could walk, swim, roller skate, spin in circles, but none of these seem particularly practical in a 9-5 world.

What’s not clear from the article is the actual definition of sitting, for example if one’s feet are up, or if a person is reclined that may not be, by the strictest rule “sitting”,  but I don’t really know.  Given that I drive to Florida at least twice a year – that’s 24ish hours behind the wheel – and I drive in general which means that I’m easily sitting in the car an hour a day on average and taking the Go bus to work guarantees me two hours of sitting a day. . .limiting my sitting to a maximum of three hours is frankly impossible.

What I will take from this article is what we already know – get up and move about more often.  Perhaps I won’t salvage those two years, but I can certainly try for an extra minute or two here or there.

– the Goddess

Knowing Your Worth

A few years ago a friend got married.  She’d been with the guy for years, they were engaged, she was all about wedding plans and I was very excited for them.  We were the best of friends, we saw each other several times a week and we talked about everything, including her future wedding.  Then she called me one night and surprise they had gotten married that day.  I was happy for them, very happy, since I knew that this would make her very happy, but I was bummed about not being let in on the secret.  I had been told that it would be a small wedding.  In case you’re unaware, this is code for “you’re not going to be invited”, and I was ok with that, but there I was hanging out with my bestie, making suggestions about wedding plans, driving her around to find the perfect, non-traditional dress and I wasn’t considered important enough to be let in on the big secret.

I was hurt.  She phoned a few days after the initial phone call and gushed for over an hour about her wedding.  The people, the luncheon, the ceremony, it all sounded wonderful, but I was still hurt and deeply so.   Here was the clearest possible evidence that she was more important to me, than I was to her.  I knew she had an inner circle of family and long time family friends who would be the handful of people invited to the wedding, I knew in that sense that I was in the second class suite, but it turned out that I was in steerage.  It turned out that she was my bestie and I was little better than a casual acquaintance.

To add insult to this injury when I told her that I was happy for her, but that I was disappointed that she didn’t feel we were close enough friends to let me in on the secret, she released some pretty serious wrath on me.  She told me I was ruining her wedding and then went on to justify her behaviour by telling me that she and her now husband had discussed whether or not to tell me and had decided that I couldn’t keep a secret.  When I balked she said that she knew that I would be upset that I wasn’t invited.  When I balked again she told me that other people had been hurt more than me – specifically a man who thought that he and the groom were as close as brothers and that he found out after the fact when they announced their marriage at a subsequent birthday party, and wasn’t it great of them to call me instead of being told of the marriage at a party.  How this was supposed to help her case, I really don’t know as the justification was that she had treated someone else crappier than she had treated me.

We got through this unfortunate situation, and remained friends, but I adjusted my level of friendship to match hers.  If she was going to treat me like a not-so-casual acquaintance then I would adjust my friendship level from bestie to not-so-casual acquaintance as well.  It turned out, however, that she didn’t like this.  She wanted the perks of being my best friend and couldn’t seem to understand that I was no longer willing to offer that level of friendship.  Had she wanted to treat me like a best friend, I would certainly have reciprocated, but an uneven relationship was simply unfair.  Eventually the friendship fell apart because she simply could not tolerate that I refused to be the friend who dropped everything to hang on her every word or take care of her when she was hurting.  I was now the friend to her that she was to me.

In this situation I recognized that I had worth, and that it was unfair for someone who offered less of themselves to expect more from me, but so often this is not the case.  All too often we have people in our lives who we will do anything for and drop anything for and we go about making their lives easier, or helping them out, or just plain loving them but with no real hope of reciprocation. We can attempt to justify the behaviour in some way, but then we also need to accept that there will be times when we will be hurt, and possibly hurt badly and the other person may never understand why we are so upset.

– the Goddess

I was going to go for a walk. . .

and then I was feeling a little tired, so I thought I’d sit down for a bit, and then I was worried that I can’t wear sneakers because my toe is still healing, and then I thought maybe I should have some dinner because I don’t want to eat too late and then I thought that I should wait until it’s dark because I don’t really like the neighbours seeing me huff and puff in my fat pants, and then I worried that if I went walking in the dark alone that knife wielding crazies might jump out from behind bushes and kill me.  

So I will try again tomorrow!  oh wait I’m meeting people after work. . .Wednesday!  Definitely Wednesday.. . maybe Thursday, definitely maybe Thursday. . .

Sigh.

– the Goddess

Craptastic

A disclaimer up front – this post may embarrass some.  I’m writing it and frankly I’m embarrassed, but I think it’s important so I will muddle through.

I have a few food allergies which I’ve discovered by accident over the last 10 or so years.  For a long time I had hives on my inner arms, but I didn’t associate it with chocolate until I went on a road trip and ate M&M’s the entire way and by the time I got to New Jersey I had hives on my inner arms, my inner thighs, and across my abdomen.  Apparently these areas are associated specifically with food allergies and when I cut out chocolate or cut it down to very small, infrequent servings the hives went away.  I discovered my allergies to peanut butter and tomatoes by paying attention to hive break outs as well.  I probably shouldn’t have been surprised as when I was a small child, about three years old, maybe less, my top lip swelled up to my nose and it was believed to be an allergic reaction, but even with restricting foods and adding them back gradually it wasn’t obvious to what I was reacting.

Now the embarrassing part.  In the past few years I’ve had some um, erm issues with my BM’s being a number 7 on the Bristol Scale  http://www.chirocolonics.com/stoolchart.html.  I really wasn’t sure what the issue was since other than being fat, I’m basically healthy and my yearly blood tests show nothing out of the ordinary. My blood pressure is a little high, but I’m working to bring that down by reducing salt intake and increasing exercise and relaxation. I just had this rather annoying little problem.  Then I was watching a DVD of Dr. Oz that a friend lent me and included in the episodes was Dr. Oz talking about um, oh gawd. . .poo.  It turns out that a number 7 could be a sign of food allergies.  So I started cutting back or eliminating those foods which I know give me an allergic reaction and things got a little better.  Then the same friend introduced me to Greek yogourt a week ago and within a couple of days my annoying little problem was no longer a problem.  I am not going to sing the praises of Greek yogourt though I do think that everyone needs to worry about having enough good bacteria in their digestive tracks and a little yogourt can’t hurt, but I really do feel a lot better.  So despite the fact that I presently want to die of embarrassment, I’m going to strongly recommend that you check out the chart and see where you fit and if there are issues, please pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you and take action.  Ok enough said <embarrassed grin>.

– the Goddess

 

A Matter of Perception

There are two general types of people in the world. Those people who perceive everything in the world as someone else’s responsibility are said to have an External Locus of Control meaning that the person feels that they have no effect on the world or its happenings.  These people tend to believe in fate or that life is somehow predetermined and that no matter how much they may want change if it is not “in the stars” then it isn’t going to happen.  There are times when I am jealous of people who think this way because if you have no control then nothing is truly your fault and you can just go with the flow.  Certainly this is an oversimplification since not having control over your life could create anxiety I would expect, but I’m sure there are times it’s kind of nice to say “not my problem” and wait for fate to take a hand.

Someone with an Internal Locus of Control feels that their actions do affect change and these people tend to be more effective in the world.  They don’t sit and wait for the outcome, rather they attempt to change it, hopefully for the better. In the weight loss battle I suspect that those of us who are “changemakers” will be more successful.  If we blame our parents or junk food distributors or bad genes then we can stew and bitch and moan and say that life isn’t fair and never really, truly take responsibility for our health.  However if we make the connection between our actions and our health and work to make better choices and exercise more then we will hopefully see results. It’s also not always an either or situation, we may affect change in our personal lives or at work, but feel hopeless about our weight issues at times.  I am guilty of this myself as I wish my doctors had thought to check me for sleeping issues 15 years and 100 pounds ago, but I also recognize that I never mentioned my severe snoring to my doctors and I was reluctant to go for a sleep test even when it was pretty clear I had an issue.

So, we need to take responsibility for our actions and we need to affect change. . .but there is one caveat.  If we perceive that everything and everyone is our responsibility then we are so busy looking out for everyone else that we don’t look after ourselves and frankly we do not have the power to affect everyone else and their choices.  While I become irritated with people who don’t take responsibility or don’t jump in and help when they see someone in need, I also have to admit that sometimes someone has to make a stand and look after themselves or they will become overburdened and burned out.  For me this is a big issue.  I have held jobs where I was run off my feet and couldn’t get everything done during normal work hours. I put in hours of unpaid overtime, but felt that I was somehow lacking, that it was my fault that I couldn’t keep  up with the demands of the job.  Then I would find something new and change positions and in a matter of weeks the person who took my old job was demanding additional hours and assistance because there was no way one person could do it.  Drowning in this way could reflect an overactive sense of responsibility or it could reflect a lack of self worth where we interpret not getting things done as our fault and not the fault of an impossible task.

– the Goddess