The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

Unconditional Love in a Skirt

on September 14, 2012

Many of us deal with self-hatred and unfortunately that often starts at home.  Some of the most hurtful things that were ever said to me about my weight were made by people who loved me the most.  I do not blame them for making the comments, as they believed they had my best interests at heart, but the words still hurt and the feelings of shame and the loss of worth still grew.

There are many reasons for one to be obese, it could be related to sleep issues, it could be related to illness and medications, it could be related to thyroid issues, or it could be about eating too much and exercising too little.  Whatever the reason for it is, I wish parents would work to investigate and work with their children to remedy the issue(s) instead of blaming and alienating their children, which is effectively what it is regardless of the good intentions

I found this report about a young boy in Germany who likes to wear dresses.  His father didn’t want him to be teased or bullied about his clothing choices. The father recognized that his son had no role model and so he started to wear skirts himself.

If he was born to another family this young child may have been ridiculed or told to hide his feelings and clothing choices and made to feel shame about who he is.  Instead his dad is by his side, supporting his son, and talking about how elastic waist skirts actually suit him.

There are some people who are told by their parents that they are beautiful in any package and they are still obese, so please do not think that I am saying that the attitudes of one’s parents are solely to blame.  But, many people learn to use food to soothe and when you’re taking it on all sides that can require a lot of self-soothing. Worse yet if the problem is indeed chemical or biological and that child really does not have the  ability to control their own weight, then the feelings of helplessness and worthlessness are magnified.  I can remember as a child being told to go out and get some exercise, or being told that I needed to do something about my eating, but those behaviours were not modeled for me.

I think it’s a bit unrealistic to think that every parent of a child who prefers to go against gender norms should don a skirt or a jacket and tie, but it’s not such a crazy idea to take your kid for a walk.

– the Goddess


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