The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

Like Two Weebles Going At It

on October 27, 2012

I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about why I don’t date Big Handsome Men or BHM’s.  Actually she was asking why I was not interested in a good male friend with whom I have a lot of fun.  Now there are a few reasons why this guy and I have never dated in the 20 or so years I’ve known him and I could tell you, but they’d probably make me look shallow so I won’t, but the main reason is that he is a big guy and I am a big girl.

I’m going to take a pause here and suggest that those of you who are more prudish may wish to stop reading.  For your reading pleasure here is a blog I discovered this week on Asian Vegan Cooking  http://asianveganeats.wordpress.com/

Ok, now they’re gone, back to what I was saying.

I once dated a guy who was 6’6″ tall.  I am 5’4″.  I was always attracted to taller men and I didn’t mind that when walking together I only came up to his underarm because I felt protected and downright petite when I was with him.  But in the bedroom we had some difficulties.    He was so much taller than I was that it made traditional positions  uncomfortable for one or both of us and sadly he wasn’t all that creative and he wasn’t terribly interested in investigating alternative positions.  There were other issues that led to our break up, but certainly our sexual difficulties played a role in the failure of that relationship.

A BHM tends to have a significant belly, as does a goddess and when these two things come together, well it’s a bit like two weebles trying to get it on (https://sites.google.com/site/weebleswobblecollection/).  It’s not impossible, but it takes some work and, well, things get in the way.

This is not something I generally talk about and I only explained it to my friend after she told me how shallow I was given my other reasons for not dating him.  Regardless it is an issue.  And when I meet someone who is above average in size it is something that does go through my mind.  Recently Weight Watchers released an ad that very clearly spelled out this issue, at least from a man’s prospective. Apparently, for every 35 pounds lost a man will gain approximately one inch of um. . .manhood for lack of a better term http://now.msn.com/charles-barkley-recites-alternate-penis-names-in-weight-watchers-ad.  Of course he can’t gain what he never had, but we get the gist.

Losing weight and inches is one fix, but that’s not easy for many of us and to lose weight healthily is to lose weight slowly and at two pounds a week, well that’s approximately fifteen weeks per inch of manhood, assuming there are no set backs.  In the interim here are a few tips that might help:

  • Place pillows or a foam wedge under her bum or hips.  This will raise her up and excess flesh will fall back making penetration easier
  • Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl positions (female on top).  If she is quite heavy she may need some encouragement to try this out, but it’s unlikely she will hurt or injure her partner.  If it is a significant concern then a weight bench or similar furniture would be handy.
  • Hold her legs up and back.  A heavy woman can have heavy legs so give her a break, but also pushing them back will give better access.
  • Open your mind to more than intercourse. If you are trying to get pregnant or just really, really like penetration then fine, but “sex” is not synonymous with “intercourse”.   Toys, mutual masturbation, oral sex and whatever else works are all sex and a lot of fun.

These tips have a heterosexual couple in mind, but can apply to same sex couples as well.

– the Goddess


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