The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

Her Cups Runneth Over

on November 16, 2012

Most of the time you will hear me complain about my mother because she can be a handful, but she has taught me certain lessons in life for which I will be forever grateful.  One of them is to always look your best, even if you’re just running out to the market to grab a couple of things.  You never know when you will bump into your boss or the man of your dreams and you don’t want to be embarrassed standing there with curlers in your hair and no bra and pants that haven’t fit properly in years.  Think of those pictures of Walmart shoppers that get forwarded around periodically.  While they are extreme examples of people not looking their best we’ve all gone out in outfits we should have thought twice about, and we’re just lucky that no one snapped our pictures.  We hope. Looking one’s best is about clothing and hair and makeup, but it is also about choosing the correct undergarments.

We all know the statistic that over 70% of women are wearing the wrong sized bra.  The funny thing is that we always think that we are in the other 30%.  With affection and respect and love and caring let me be clear NO YOU ARE NOT.  I pride myself on knowing my actual bra size and to being open to having bras of different sizes because different styles fit differently and even I only learned this week about the “back minimizing” bra.  This thing is a wonder.  I called the woman at Catherine’s a bra fitting god right to her face because I was so happy to learn that someone out there is thinking of the “all back and no boobs” gals like myself.

Years ago I had a friend with massive breasts.  I am not exaggerating; they were like two watermelons lying vertically under her shirt.  She is also a big girl, but I caught a glimpse of her changing one day and I realized that she wasn’t actually as big as she appeared.  Her torso was actually a lot smaller than I had ever realized and it was the breasts that were making her look so big.  The problem was that she was somewhat prudish and embarrassed about her bounty and even though I wanted to suggest to her that she try a different bra and get the girls up off her tummy I never did figure out how to broach the topic with her.  We went dress shopping once and she tried on a dress that had gathering around the boobs and her breasts were down below the gathering.  She stood there asking me what I thought of the dress and she seemed really keen on it, but I knew I couldn’t let her buy it given that it didn’t fit in the bust.  I stood there for a minute trying to figure out how to tell her why it wasn’t the most flattering dress she’d tried on.  Thankfully I only had to stammer and jabber for a minute before the clerk came over and very clearly said “Oh NO, that is not the dress for you.”  She didn’t explain why, but thankfully my friend did not purchase the dress.

About a year later she went for a bra fitting and it turned out that she had been trying to squeeze herself into a DD cup which meant that in order to get into the cups she had to keep increasing the band size.  I don’t recall the exact numbers but she went from something like a 52 DD to a 40 G.  Essentially I was right, her girls were lying on her belly.  I can’t imagine that was comfortable and I can only imagine that she often developed skin irritation in hot weather because her breasts would be hot and no doubt perspiration would sit on her skin and irritate.  Even so she was in her mid-30’s before it ever occurred to her that she was wearing the wrong bra.  I don’t recall what made her go and have a fitting done, but I am grateful to whoever figured out a way to tell her she was wearing the wrong sized bra and frankly a little jealous because with the right fitting bra she looked a good 30 pounds lighter instantly.

When I see woman wearing ill-fitting bras I want to run up to them and beg them to go for a bra fitting.  In fact some I just want to walk up behind and heave their breasts up so they can see the difference, but I know that would be inappropriate so I shall refrain.

Even if you are absolutely positive that you have the correct sized bra please do yourself a favour and go and have a fitting. You will either gain validation that you were indeed wearing the right bra size or you will find out that you weren’t and you will find out how amazing you can look with the right bra.  It’s win-win.

–  the Goddess


3 responses to “Her Cups Runneth Over

  1. Amen. It’s good not to be wearing the girls around your waist.

  2. I agree women should find good fitting bras, that seems like the kind of thing everyone agrees on, if for no other reaon than the woman’s comfort, but I disagree they should always feel like they have to look their best. Who gives a shit if you run into someone you know (or used to know) not looking your best? For starters, your ex boyfriend is your ex for a reason, so who gives a shit what he thinks, plus he has probably seen you looking like that anyway? Your boss sees you every day at work and knows what you look like when you are all dolled up. Any boss who is going to hold it against you that you don’t look polished and professional while shopping at Walmart is a jerk and you need to start looking for a new job 🙂

    Why do women always have to look their best? Why can’t they just go to the store to get milk looking the way they look? Why are women always told they aren’t good enough and aren’t attractive enough? There really is this pervasive belief that women have no business existing unless men want to fuck them. Well, I disagree, my daughters will have worth as women whether men find them attractive when they run into them on the street or on the way home from the gym or while buying gardening supplies or not. Why do you have to be attractive to buy milk? Do they charge you extra if you look rumpled? Why can’t women say, “you know what? I could spend 20 minutes doing my hair and makeup but a) I am going to get milk so who gives a shit and b) I could spend those 20 minutes doing something else, like reading a book or playing Uno with my kids, or writing, or catching some much needed sleep, or writing a letter to my MP, or sitting and having a cup of tea or whatever the hell, you know?” My advice to my daughters would be “you are never going to satisfy everyone, someone is always going to not like you, fuck em, do what you want and try to be nice to people.” But yeah, also find a bra that fits 🙂

  3. We don’t all have to look like super models each and every day, and a good coat and hat can soften a less than stellar outfit or hair standing on end, but taking pride in how one looks, especially for an obese woman or man, is essential. It is a fact that we are judged more harshly than our average-sized peers. It is also a fact that we are only given one chance to make a first impression and while a friend or long time colleague may forgive a slovenly appearance while one runs to the market for one or two things, if one were to bump in to a business associate or a desired romantic partner he or she might lose an opportunity. In that case it would be worth 20 minutes to primp a little.

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