The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

Who Ya Gonna Call? The Goddess!

on January 17, 2013

There is always one person in every group of friends who one calls in an emergency and I am that person.  Perhaps it’s because I am an INTJ (, perhaps it’s because I’m just a phenomenal human being or perhaps it’s because I like being needed.

Typically I am the one at the party who looks out for the new people and makes sure they are comfortable and have people to talk to and engage with.  I’m the one who makes sure that no one drinks too much and that everyone has a ride home and I’m the one you call when you need to bury the body.  Um scratch that last bit. . . But I am good under pressure and in a crisis.

For example, I am good at putting out fires, which is a definite plus as I am a menace in the kitchen.  That’s not to say that I can’t follow a recipe or even create one and I often turn out tasty delights, but I am impatient and easily distracted and I’ve been known to turn on the stove, whack down a pan, add some oil, some veggies, and then wander off.  On one occasion I was living with my dad and I tossed a package of frozen chicken in the microwave.  Then, like I do, I wandered off.  What I didn’t know was that there was a metal tag on the chicken itself and as I came back to check on the chicken I could see from the hall that Star Wars was playing out in the microwave and then poof! the Death Star exploded into flames.  I ran into the kitchen, yelled for my father and assessed the situation.  My father started yelling at me, and as much as I loved him, in this instance he was completely useless.  In a split second I remembered baking soda puts out flames, I yelled at him to settle down, told him exactly where in the fridge to find the baking soda, took it from him, deftly popped the microwave door open, doused the flames with baking soda and then slammed the door shut again.  The fire was out, the crisis averted and my dad was still having a freak out.

I am not particularly proud of this moment in time since if I had paid attention and read the label on the package of chicken I would have known that it wasn’t to be microwaved and had I not gone walk about instead of staying in the kitchen to keep an eye on things then likely I would have caught the problem at the sparking stage and not had to fight fire or clean soot and baking soda from the inside of my lovely white microwave.  I am proud of the fact though that I paid attention in school and “stop-drop-and roll”ed my way out of what could have quickly became a dangerous or even a deadly situation.

Being the go-to person does have a lot to do with my personality type, and I am a phenomenal person, just ask me, but it also has a lot to do with being needed and being accepted.  Someone calling me for help makes me feel accepted by that person and a good friend to that person and for a fat girl a little acceptance can often go a long way.

Sadly there are those who will prey on the fat girl who needs acceptance and who wants to be a trusted and steady friend.  Thankfully I have rid myself of those people and have surrounded myself with a group of friends and acquaintances who appreciate the fact that I will drop everything and take them to Emergency or whip up a casserole on a moments notice.

– the Goddess


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