The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

“I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”

on January 26, 2013

My belly dance instructor is a beautiful spirit.  That’s what I call people who are sweet and generous and who are marching through life finding their bliss.  I only know her from 3 one-hour dance classes so far, but sometimes one can just tell.  Last week between shimmies, hip-sits and butterfly arms she mentioned that people talk to themselves more than anyone else.  She told us that since that was the case then we’d better speak positively and remind ourselves of our worth and all of our gifts.  I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist.

What she said reminded me of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_therapy).  Actually it reminded me of Stuart Smalley first, but then CBT.  I won’t embarrass myself by trying to explain all that is CBT, but essentially it’s about getting rid of the “stinkin’ thinkin”.  If one thinks they are a failure and one reminds themselves that they are a failure then they will be a failure – Self Fulfilling Prophecy 101.

I used to work with a woman who was really kind to me, but she hated our boss, our office and our organization.  Every day she would find fault with something new or rehash her top 10 things with which she’d found fault in the past.  She was a lovely woman, kind and generous, but the day after day nattering was annoying.  Eventually I realized that the nattering wasn’t just irritating me, it was actually changing my world view.  Those who know me, know that I have Pollyanna leanings, always hoping to find the best in people and situations, but over time I was becoming Debbie Downer.  I remember talking to my father one day and I suddenly realized that whatever we were talking about I was either mocking it or complaining about it or both.  Once I had this realization I started to take action by forcing myself to once again find the positive in any situation.  I also started looking for a new job.

Once the new job was in place and I become more positive about the world around me I started to turn inwards and focused on the negative thoughts about myself.  Like many fat people, especially women, I have body issues.  Parts of me are too big, some too small, some things sag, and clothes don’t fit the way I would like them to.  Looking in a full length mirror is not something that I relish.  However, there are people who do like to see my wobbly bits and I wanted to see what they see.  I am not really about fat acceptance, I don’t like my size and I want to weigh less and be healthier, but I also want to feel good about myself, because that allows me to go out in the world and live my life.  I started looking in the mirror and I started to remind myself of the compliments I had received from people I’ve dated and loved.  And eventually I started to think more positively about my body.  I won’t be flashing any pics anytime soon, but I won’t hate it either.

My body didn’t change. My attitude towards it did and  I would strongly recommend some positive self talk to anyone struggling to see the positive in the world and in themselves.

– the Goddess

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2 responses to ““I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”

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