The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

No, I’m Not His Sister….

on July 2, 2013

My boyfriend lives in a secure building where one has to get a parking pass from security and then move the car to the underground parking lot. Most times it’s the same security guard who signs me in and takes my information and he likes to joke around by entering my car as a Lamborghini instead of the sensible Kia that I drive.  I typically get an overnight pass.

A few weeks ago I went in to get my pass and the guard was filling it out and turned to me and asked “So are you his sister?”  I had been staring off into space for a minute, but I quickly turned to him and said “Um no.”  So the guard nodded and thought for a second and asked if I was my boyfriend’s cousin.  Granted I don’t walk in and say I am here to see my boyfriend, gimme a pass, I simply say that I need a pass and which unit I am visiting, but let’s be clear, each week, at least once a week I get an overnight pass.  I’m not sure how it is in his family, but sisters and cousins don’t generally do that in my family.  After my negative response to his second question he didn’t miss a beat and nodded and said “Oh just good friends then”.  I knitted my eyebrows and with a cool tone I told him that I was the girlfriend.  Then he got all flustered because obviously that had just not occurred to him.  He continued to be flustered and tripped over himself, and apologized until I left, parking pass in hand.

By the time I got to my boyfriend’s apartment I was still irritated and he asked me if it was because the guy assumed I was a lesbian.  To be honest this hadn’t occurred to me, so I did pause for a second, but in my gut I knew that this wasn’t what had stumped the guard.  I knew that the guard had looked at me and considered my thin, good looking boyfriend and decided that he would never date someone like me.  He had three tries and never came up with girlfriend and just like the other scenarios not too many lesbian friends would need that many overnight passes.  Boyfriend thought the whole thing was kind of funny, but this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to me.

Ages ago, before they had their daughter, so a life time ago really, I went to visit my friends Vicki and Sean.  They lived on the main floor of a house that had been converted into flats.  As I walked up the front path one of the other male tenants came out, looked me up and down and in a loud voice asked whose sister I was.  The gist as far as I could tell was that I must be a relative since no one would have someone like me as a friend.

Perhaps I’m overly sensitive, perhaps everyone was having sister’s over that night so he confused me for one of them, and perhaps the security guard did think I was a lesbian since the super short hair and the sensible shoes do sometimes confuse people.  Or perhaps some people just don’t see how someone would find me attractive enough to date or befriend and they just can’t  imagine those scenarios as plausible for a girl like me.

Sadly, all too often we think the same about ourselves.  I don’t have a magic fix for this, but I’m going to keep reminding you and myself that we are worthy of love and friendship and kindness at any size.

– the Goddess



One response to “No, I’m Not His Sister….

  1. Vicki says:

    I totally do not remember that! If it’s who I think it was he was probably stoned. Then again, we do look a like.
    Anyway, I say you show up in a nice lacy camisole next time. Idiot!

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