The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

The Goddess Stands Alone Once More

on July 25, 2013

It appears I am once again single.

Last night my boyfriend and I ended our relationship.  Our plans of a life together are dashed and I am experiencing a sadness and a longing so dense that I fear it may suffocate me.  However as I indulge in a little KFC therapy and pour my heart out to the Colonel, I am reminded that this was our second attempt at finding happiness together and when it ended the last time, I survived.

I was hurt and sad and rife with feelings of inadequacy, but eventually the wound healed over and left only the faintest of scars.   My wounds are deeper this time round, but I know that they will heal and I will find someone new.  Of course at this moment,  it feels like I will never again find someone who will engage my mind and rock my world, but I’m hopeful that there is another someone out there, someone who will be willing to share their heart and who will play for keeps.

As a fat woman I am loathe to step back into the dating world and once again navigate not only the typical pitfalls of dating, but also the fat girl traps like  those men who love the flesh, but only behind closed doors, the feeders who abuse with food, and the guys who abuse because they think that they can treat a fat woman as “less than” because they were gallant enough to saddle themselves with the fat chick.  I once had a guy contact me on an online dating site and realizing that we had nothing in common I thanked him for his interest and wished him well with his search.  He sent back a nasty message telling me how lucky I was that a guy like him would even talk to a fat slob like me.  I call this “How Not To Win A Peek At My Underpants 101” and I lied, it’s happened more than once.

I’ve now been single for 24 hours, I think I’ll go put Gotye on repeat, cry into my pillow and remind myself that tomorrow is another day, or the sun will come out, or something like that.

– the Goddess

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One response to “The Goddess Stands Alone Once More

  1. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sure it doesn’t help right now, but believe me there are wonderful men out in the world who will engage your mind and love your spirit as well as your body. Trying to force a relationship never works, but that doesn’t make the end of one any less painful. BB

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