The Goddess Weighs In

Living Large and Healthy

Please Don’t Pity The Goddess

on September 6, 2013

People tell me two things about my writing.  It’s kinda funny and it’s really sad.  Funny I’ll take, funny I like, funny is how I relate to the world, but I refuse to think of what I write as being sad.

I write about bullying, not fitting in, not fitting period, being hurt, having my heart stomped on, and wanting change, but I don’t talk about these things to bring down the mood, I talk about them to show that one can survive, one can learn, one can grow and one can go on.

At times I describe events which are bittersweet or somewhat melancholy, but I always work towards a positive outcome and I try to talk about how I learned or grew or survived an experience.  There is an old Italian proverb I learned years ago  Quando la casa brucia, tutti si scaldano  –  Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. Or if you prefer when the world gives you lemons, make lemonade, either way work to see the good in the bad.  I could sit around and bitch and moan and blame my short comings on others or I can take responsibility for my life and not “…let the bastards get me down”. It’s my choice whether I wallow or revel in my life and I will always choose the latter.

I recently read a post on another blog about a woman who was deeply disappointed because her wedding did not go exactly to plan.  They said their vows and they got married, but there were several hitches in the ceremony and reception and she was having a moan about it.  I can understand her upset, I can commiserate with someone who feels  that her her big day was not as she hoped, I can understand her disappointment, I really can, but I think she missed the point.  In my family we have an expression “does she want the marriage or the party?”.  It doesn’t have to be an either or scenario, but it is a prompt to remind people which is more important. This woman missed the beauty of the things that did go as planned, she missed the fact that friends and family came out to witness and celebrate their union and she failed to marvel at her good fortune because she won the cosmic lottery and found a partner who she can describe as her best friend.  Not all of us are that lucky, some of us may never be that lucky and she chose to focus her energies on complaining that she missed trying the Sundae Bar at her reception.  This isn’t an attack on this woman, I’m sure she’s a lovely person and when she settles down a bit she will realize that there was way more to be thankful about than bitter, but for now she is choosing to dwell on the negative and that saddens me.

I come from a funny people, it’s how we relate to each other. There are very few heartfelt talks in my family. We tease and cajole and make our point through humour, it’s all very passive aggressive and we’re probably all emotionally stunted, but it also allows us to see the funny in the sad.  It’s not like we don’t have our difficult moments and we don’t break into ruckus laughter at funerals, well not often, but we have made an art out of seeing the best in the worst.  I don’t want to fill this post with a bunch of cliches and adages, but seriously you only live once so make the best of it.  And I’m certainly not aiming to belittle anyone who is struggling with depression or other forms of mental illness, because sometimes one just can’t see the bright side or one can’t just “buck up” because some one tells them to, but for most of us our issues are pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.  I’d say they are “first world” problems, but I don’t like the term “third world” cuz hey “one world is enough for all of us“, but really try explaining to the guy who is living on the street that you’re really pissed because your manicure got smudged when you got into your car to drive home.  No really, try it and let me know how it goes.

I’ve had a pretty crappy week, I apparently fell out of the sugar bowl and it knocked me in the head, but I know that it’s one week out of fifty-two this year and I’m seeing the wonderful and amazing Joanne this weekend and she is a bit of sunshine incarnate and I’m going to the Y on Sunday and tonight I’m going for a long overdue massage, so life could definitely be worse.  So I thank you for your kind words and I thank you for your concern about some of the crap things that I have written and talked about, but please don’t pity me, I’m doing just fine.

– the Goddess

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4 responses to “Please Don’t Pity The Goddess

  1. Andy says:

    exactly, I saw the same rather depressing wedding post and I reminded her that over time the human brain tends to filter out the bad and promote the good !

  2. Pretty much everything that can go wrong, did on my wedding day. My dress was mangled by the dress maker and I had to find another one the day before my wedding, the flowers didn’t show up, my husband managed to get blood all over his shirt (don’t ask!), we we swarmed by bees, my in laws showed up at my house unexpectedly and needed to be entertained etc. Those are the only things I remember about my wedding and they make me laugh every time I think about them. I realize that isn’t the point per se of this article, but I agree you have to see the humour in things!

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