Melissa Newman-Evans has a new fan in me.
– the Goddess
Today we lost Leonard “Mr. Spock” Nimoy.
My fondest memories are watching Star Trek, the original series in reruns and the movies, with my father and brother. No matter how silly or how schlocky it could get Leonard Nimoy always seemed credible to me. Of course there is life on other planets, of course they all appear humanoid, of course they all wear spandex jumpsuits and go go boots. Of course.
I also knew that Leonard Nimoy was so much more than his pointy eared persona, he acted in other roles, he was a writer, a director, a poet and a photographer. What I didn’t know was that in 2007 he published a series of photographs called The Full Body Project and if I didn’t already love Leonard Nimoy as I do, I would love him solely for this. He asked plus size, size positive women to pose for him, to open up to his camera and they did so, so beautifully, so majestically, so wonderfully that I was simply in awe as I perused some of his photos this afternoon.
The Matisse Circle, The Full Body Project, Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy was a Renaissance man and today I feel like I have lost a dear friend.
– the Goddess
Valentine’s Day is upon us. For some it’s a day of fun and frivolity with the person they love and for some it’s a stark reminder that they are a singleton in a world that favours coupling. Most years I’ve been single on Valentine’s. I’ve talked before about how the people who love me were clear that no one would ever be romantically interested in a girl like me, so I just let the day go by and bought silly cards for friends or for my parents. My father always sent me a Valentine, sometimes my mother does, and for a long time I just accepted that that was my fate. You, however, do not have to accept this. You do not have to be in a relationship to be a whole, beautiful, wonderful person, but you also do not have to live your life alone because people tell you that no one will love the fat girl.
A few months ago I got my heart broken. Actually it was broken several times during our four year roller coaster of a relationship, but I was loved and I did love. I am a fat girl and someone loved me. The very fact that someone loved me and made love with me reinforced for me that indeed there are people who love women like me. We need role models. We need to see that, despite the opinions of many around us, we are lovable.
Today I found adipositivity.com. There are hundreds of photos of fat people of various shapes and sizes in various poses and states of undress. Depending on your workplace this may be NSFW, so please do be careful, but what I truly loved were the Valentine pictures. These are pictures of of fat people and their lovers. In reading the description of the Adipositivity Project the point is to show people of size and promote acceptance of all shapes and sizes. Perhaps if more of us see that people who look like us have lovers and do love and are loved then they too will be open to finding love. I often joke about being oblivious to flirting and romantic interest. I’m not actually oblivious, I’ve just spent a lot of time ignoring these behaviours because I assumed people weren’t interested. Even now, several dates and a few boyfriends later, I can still be very insecure when meeting someone new and starting a new relationship. The same old insecurities rise up and I have to fight tooth and nail to push them back down. Pictures like the ones on adipositivity.com are not only for the education and enlightenment of the average person. They are for the above average person, like myself, who needs to see herself and her beauty though a different lens.
– the Goddess
Today Tess Holliday (Tess Munster), a 5’5″ woman who wears a size 22, was signed to a major modelling firm. She started the #EffYourBeautyStandard movement and now she is the largest woman signed to a firm. It would be nice if that distinction didn’t have to be made and we could all just acknowledge that this woman is drop dead gorgeous, but this is still impressive.
Take a look at my new Pin Up Girl:
– the Goddess
Imma just leave this here for you.
– the Goddess
Today this popped up in my Facebook feed. Apparently J. Crew is now offering a size 000. No that’s not a typo, I am not self bleeping, that’s actually the size, triple 0. Essentially it’s an extra, extra, extra small, but since that sounds kind of silly they have opted for a bunch of zeros. There are those who are voicing concern that offering such a small size will encourage girls and women to develop eating disorders in order to fit into this new miniature size. J. Crew has countered that argument by saying they are responding to customer demand. They cite that petite Asian women may well have a 23 inch waist which equates to the new itty bitty triple zero size. There are also complaints that offering this new size will be a blow to the already fragile egos of those who are more “average” sized in the size 12ish range and those who are in the plus size range which is essentially size 16ish.
I bet that you can guess which side of the argument I am going to fall on here.
I bet that you are going to guess wrong.
A little known fact is that this Goddess has an MBA. I don’t get to use it much because I’m a little too non-profit for the corporate sector and a little too business for the non-profit sector, but I do know a thing or two about business and a I know a thing or two about people and I think that the arguments here are frankly ridiculous.
J. Crew is a business. J. Crew has no interest in creating a race of super skinny, Shetland pony sized people. Rather they have an interest in hawking their wares to the highest bidder. If there are people coming into their stores asking for smaller sizes then they are going to tap into that market. It’s not social commentary, it’s not fat shaming, it’s ECONOMICS. It’s quite possible that as they say they are trying to attract petite Asian shoppers, and it also possible that they are trying to fit more teens and children into their clothes and quite frankly if they see an opportunity then they have every right to try to capture market share.
I also don’t buy into the notion that if this size is available then girls are going to be more likely to widdle themselves down so that they can fit into it. There are already super small sizes, there are also naturally super small people who are healthy and who wish to wear clothes that fit them properly. When I was in high school there was a girl in the year ahead of me who was tiny both in height and in proportion. It was not unusual to see her walking through the halls sporting the latest Smurf or Care Bear creations because she couldn’t find clothes in her size. I don’t know if she would have worn a triple zero, but the point is that there are those who do and just as I have every right to be able to dress my size 5X body in fashionable clothes that fit me well so too do those among us who are at the other end of the size spectrum. It reminds me a bit of that saying “Real men like curves, only dogs like bones.” Sure it’s a bit of fun in a world bombarded with images of rail thin women, but the truth is real men like real women and real women come in all shapes and sizes.
The article in the Star goes on to talk about vanity sizing which for those who don’t know is when clothing manufacturers let out your seams without telling you. I’ve fallen prey to this myself as I have been wearing the same size for the last 15 years and my weight has fluctuated quite a bit in that time. I’m not sure that triple zero is an issue of vanity sizing since it does equate it to a 23 inch waist and the implication is that this has not previously been available. On the issue of vanity sizing I have one suggestion for us all. Wear clothing that fits and flatters. I don’t care if my clothes are size quadruple zero or size 1000. The label is not important. Whether or not I can button my pants and look good is all that matters. Perhaps we can avoid this by changing up sizing all together. Numbers and letters are arbitrary so let’s go with colours and animals. I’ll take a sweater in purple hamster and I think a skirt in raspberry antelope will do quite nicely.
– the Goddess
This weekend I was supposed to go to the beach on the Toronto Island, but I was thwarted by rain, high temperatures and humidity, and a report that the water quality of Lake Ontario might be a bit dodgy. How I look in a bathing suit however was not going to keep me from paddling in the water and feeling the sand between my toes. In fact I’m quite proud to say that I’ve been doing a lot of swimming lately and much of the apprehension I once felt has melted away. I can’t say that it’s all gone, but I can tell you that I barely give it a moment’s notice these days.
Recently this has been making the rounds on Facebook and a friend also posted a related blog post from a parenting blog and I even made it one of my 40 Challenges to go to the beach and be seen by the world in my bathing suit. I haven’t yet attempted a bikini, in fact I don’t own one, but it’s something I’m thinking about. As the boyfriend pointed out I already show off my legs and hips so why not the tummy? How could that part of me be any more or less offensive to those who are going to take issue with seeing me in a bathing suit? And quite frankly if they take issue, well apparently life is pretty good because there are a lot of things to worry about in this world which are way more important than the dimples on my knees.
– the Goddess